29/01/2026
I am a 38-year-old married man, My marriage isn't even a year old yet, but I am facing a serious crisis. I can't even concentrate at work.
I married a very beautiful woman whom I dated for 5 years. During our dating years, she was wonderful. She loved my family, and they loved her back. In fact, my mother was the one who pressured me to marry her quickly so I wouldn't lose her. But just one month after our wedding, her attitude completely changed.
Now, she doesn't want any of my family members to visit our home. Meanwhile, her younger sister lives with us (I'm even paying for her school fees), and her mother visits every week, sometimes staying for 14 days at a time.
The biggest problem is my mother's health. She is a single mom who sacrificed everything and worked so hard to send me to school. I'm an engineer now, earning between N400k and N480k a month. My wife knows exactly how much I make because we share a joint bank account.
Last month, I gave my mom only N15k for her medicine, and my wife went into a rage. We had very serious issues, she got so mad that she Parked up her bags and left our home to her parents thre!atening to file for a divorce. I had to apologize with every effort left in me.
She knows that my biggest weakness is the fear of losing her because I love her so much, so she uses "divorce" to control me.
Now i fear for my mother's condition which has become critical. She needs urgent surgery. I just received my salary and I want to pay for her treatment, but i am terrified that my wife will leave me if I do.
I know it sounds crazy, but I can't imagine life without her. At the same time, I can't live with myself if i let something bad happen to my own mom.
I am so confused and torn apart. My two sisters dropped out of school just so I could become an engineer. If anything happens to my mom because I refused to help, they will never forgive me. It feels like my wife is using my love for her against me.
My sisters are married too but both husband's are just struggling with life and barely have enough for their families but my wife insists they should be one to bring the money since I've been the one handling almost all the family's financial issues
Please, what should I do? How can I save my mother without des!troying my marriage? I just don't know the right step to take.
