01/08/2025
š§ Why Your Mate Dave Probably Shouldnāt DJ Your Weddingā¦
It all sounded like a brilliant idea at the time
āDave said heāll do it for Ā£100 while everyoneās at the pub, bargainā
6 months before the wedding
The bride starts sending Dave loads of song requests, playlists, and voice notes
Daveās thinking āHang on⦠what have I got myself into hereā
3 months to go
The venue emails Dave asking for
āļø Public Liability Insurance
āļø PAT certificates
āļø Method statement
āļø Risk assessment
Daveās like āWTF is a method statement Iām just a pub DJ I donāt even know if my speakers or my MonsterMoon light still workā
Now heās seriously getting cold feet
1 month to go
The brideās booked a sax player and now the sax playerās sending Dave more songs and performance notes
Daveās had enough, this isnāt what he signed up for.
1 week to go
The brideās mum rings
āDave weāre planning a surprise flash mob can you help organise it and play the right tracksā
Daveās like āA flash whatā
3 days to go
The photographer reaches out
āWhat lighting will you be using for the first danceā
āAlso can you sign a disclaimer saying you wonāt use lasersā
Dave āEr⦠itās a MonsterMoonā
2 days to go
The bride asks for a custom first dance edit
She wants a slow acoustic Rihanna version to mix into the original with a surprise scratch effect
Dave breaks. Heās officially had it
š The next day
Dave has ācome down with shinglesā
The brideās in tears
And now sheās desperately trying to book a professional DJ with 1 day to go
Moral of the story
Weddings are for professionals not Dave from the pub
Let him enjoy the free bar
Leave the music to someone who knows what a method statement is and doesnāt fear the MonsterMoon