10/11/2024
It's National Coming Out Day!
A few thoughts about coming out:
- You owe no one disclosure about your sexuality. If it's not safe to come out to certain people in your life, you don't have to.
-That being said, in many ways life becomes easier if you do come out. The energy you spend concealing your identity is suddenly released and available for other more positive things in your life.
-When you come out, there may be people who don't believe you. This applies to people of any age, but I find it is especially true for later in lifers. A lot of us sleepwalk through this part of our lives until we hit a catalyst moment that makes us realize we aren't straight. Comp Het makes it incredibly difficult for some to suss out our authentic sexuality. For younger people, you might be told "it's just a phase." Heck, I was told it was just a phase due to menopause! 😅 The reality is, the only person who can name your sexual identity is you.
-After coming out, you may have a vulnerability hangover. This is normal. Don't worry, that feeling of vulnerability will pass.
-If you're coming out today (or any day), start with the people who you know will accept you. If you can come out to another q***r person, that's a great place to start!
-If you're coming out, please find q***r community. I am very grateful to the women in my community who stepped up and reached out after I came out.
-If someone comes out to you today (or any day), say thank you. After all, they aren't really coming out to you - they are letting you into their inner world, and isn't that an enormous, profound privilege? Treat the experience with gratitude and your relationship with the person coming out will deepen x1000.
-Last thing: go watch Will & Harper on Netflix. This documentary is a master class on how to navigate accepting a loved one when they come out.
