13/06/2026
I was genuinely shocked and disappointed reading the comments on a recent Facebook post asking whether a celebrant should share or involve a couple in the drafting of their wedding ceremony.
The overwhelming response from many celebrants was “no”. Some said they don’t want the interference. Others said they want the couple to experience the ceremony for the first time on the day.
I respectfully disagree.
A wedding ceremony does not belong to the celebrant. It belongs to the couple.
As celebrants, our responsibility is to ensure the legal requirements are met and that the marriage is solemnised correctly. Beyond those legal obligations, every other part of the ceremony should reflect the couple’s personalities, values, wishes and vision for their day.
I cannot imagine investing time into writing a ceremony and then denying the couple the opportunity to have input into one of the most important moments of their lives.
For me, being a celebrant has always been about collaboration. The best ceremonies are not written for couples. They are written with them.
After all, it’s their wedding day, not ours.
